Great Tiips and Strategies around Screen Time

Transitioning - The Mother of All Battles

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Transitioning - The Mother of All Battles   Having counselled hundreds of families over the years, here is the top 10 list of problem-causing times in the day.  Coming off screens (In fact, this one is often related to all the rest) Waking up and getting out of bed Getting out the door in the morning Getting ready for bed Falling asleep Coming to the table for dinner Leaving to go somewhere Leaving somewhere to come home Starting homework Mondays (or the first few days back after a longer holiday) What do all of these moments have in common? Each one involves a TRANSITION from one area of focus to another. Research shows that boys find it harder to transition between tasks than girls do. Boys are more prone to hyper-focusing which makes disengaging from an activity much harder. 10 Things you can do to prevent battles? Give warnings: “We’re leaving in 15 minutes…We’re leaving in 10 minutes…We’re leaving in 5 minutes.” Allow for delays: If you know you have to be out the door by 8:15, make it very clear that you have to be out the door by 8:00! Mental rehearsal: “This is what’s going to happen today.” Walk your child through events the way you want them to go. Let kids in on the plan. They want to know what is going to happen. Anticipate transitions: Know what your family’s “problem times” are and be ready to manage them rationally – without letting your emotions take over. Discuss the problem: Talk about the “problem times” when everyone’s in a good mood, not in the heat of the moment, and have a plan. Keep revisiting and tweaking the plan if it’s not working. It’s a family issue, not just a Mom and Dad issue. Nobody likes fighting. Physical re-directing / Minimal talking: With younger children, simply take them by the hand and lead them where you need them to go. No need for a narrative, lectures or giving reasons. With older children, lead – don’t follow. Be the first one with your coat on, out the door and in the car. They will follow. No transitioning with the phone or tablet still playing: “I’ll hold that while you get your coat and shoes on.” Watch for natural breaks:  TV has half-hour and one-hour intervals – screens are continuous. Find the natural breaks in the game. Some games cannot be paused. Your child means it when he says, “I just have to kill one more guy.” Ask, “How much longer?” and decide if that will work. With YouTube videos, look to see where the slider is at the bottom of the screen. If it’s too long, tell the child to move it forward. Use a timer: Some kids simply do not have a strong sense of time. What does 15 minutes mean? A digital timer that counts down works wonders. It provides the child with a visual indicator of time passing.  Unplug WiFi: “If you can’t control yourself, I will have to control you for you.” As a last resort, turn off the WiFi. Remember empathy on the one hand – you know what it’s like to have to leave something you’re enjoying. But remember firm and fair as well. Life has its demands, and sometimes we need to be firm and fair about what needs to happen – for the good of everyone.

What Boys Need...The Difficult Child

What Boys Need   A newsletter from Michael Reist www.michaelreist.ca

Difficult Child. Interesting Adult. When you’re feeling frustrated about your child’s behaviour, just remember, your difficult child is going to grow up to be an interesting adult. Wayne Dyer said, “When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” Qualities that are difficult in a child might serve him well as an adult.  Stubborn = strong willed, sets goals and works toward them Defiant = is confident enough to speak honestly to authority figures Disorganized = is more interested in the big picture, not a details person Doesn’t listen = focuses well on his own projects, is able to ignore distractions Argumentative = intelligent, passionate, excellent verbal skills “Difficult” is in the eyes of the beholder. A difficult child is not a problem to be solved but a mystery to be understood. All behaviour is logical. What is the deeper meaning behind the difficult behaviour? I want more freedom and control in my life. This doesn’t mean letting them have everything they want. It means giving them more freedom and control – within boundaries. I feel that no one “gets” me. What does it mean to “get” a child? It means to feel empathy for them. It means to really listen to what they’re saying. I have energy I need to burn off. Get outside. Move. Exercise. I’m bored. I don’t feel challenged. This is especially the case with highly intelligent children. I need more attention from Mom and Dad. Some children need more attention than others – within the same family. If they can’t get it in positive ways, they will get it in negative ways. Give to each according to their needs. You cannot spoil a child with love. We think of children as difficult when they do not behave in ways we like. We need to provide them with two things: freedom within structure. The 4 F’s of discipline: Few: Your list of rules should be short. These are your non-negotiables, your battles worth fighting. Put them up on the fridge door. Review them periodically. Fair: Talk about these rules as a family. What are the logical reasons behind them? Let your kids participate in this discussion rather than decreeing from above. Decide in advance what the consequences will be – ideally with buy-in from your kids. Fast: When a rule is violated, follow the “Act, don’t yak!” rule. Simply impose the consequence. No need for long sermons or lectures. Make sure the consequences have a reasonable time limit (for example, one day without the iPad), so that you can start fresh again. Firm: Listen to the push back then let it go. It’s my job to set boundaries. It’s your job to push back against them. We’re both doing our job. The daily struggle to meet the needs of a “difficult” child will be just that, a daily struggle. Take one day at a time. At the end of a bad day, rebuild the interpersonal bridge by making nurturing contact with the child. The next day, push the reset button – no grudges or references to the past. Most of all, have a sense of humour. Maybe you don’t even have a difficult child – maybe you’re a “difficult parent.” lol

How to "Chunk" your Lessons

http://www.edutopia.org/blog/scaffolding-lessons-six-strategies-rebecca-alber

Edutopia shares ways to chunk lessons and then provide the tools and structures for each chunk.  Read 6 Scaffolding Strategies to Use with your Students to find out how!

Tips for Grading and Giving Feedback

What educator could not use Tips for Grading and Giving Feedback? (Edutopia)

http://www.edutopia.org/blog/grading-tips-student-feedback-heather-wolpert-gawron

How to Give Effective Feedback

"When John Hattie reviewed over 500,00 research studies, he found that feedback had more impact on student results than any other teaching strategy." (The Australian Society for Evidence Based Teaching). Learn How to Give Effective Feedback by clicking on this link.

What To Do When...You Worry Too Much: A Kid's Guide to Overcoming Anxiety

In her book, Dawn Huebner teaches school-aged children cognitive-behavioral techniques to reduce and overcome anxiety, fears, and worry, through writing and drawing activities and self-help exercises.  This book includes information for parents!